I've hit rock bottom, and i'm still falling.

i think it’s time for an  apology.

I’m sorry for the things I have done, and the people I have hurt through all of this.
I’m not sorry to the people who left me the second I got out of the hospital,
you know who you are, you know you left me when I needed someone most.
yeah, okay , i may have been trying to ‘leave’ you too when I attempted that.
but if you think about our history, I have always been there when you needed someone, I have always dragged all of you from the deepest, darkest fucking corridors of your life.
I did not really break my promise of sobriety, fuck you.
I was not trying to get high.
So shut the fuck up.

I have really learned that most of my friends, don’t give a shit.
most of you have lost contact with me, because you have more important things to do than be a good friend.

this isnt a bash on everyone, if you dont think its too you, its probably not, if you have to question it, well than it probably is.

Some people don’t know what ‘forever’ means.
some people live to rip others hearts out.

Some people.
fuck some people.

I’m getting a new tumblr.

I don’t care who follows me.

I want everyone to know I love them.

I can’t live like this anymore, maybe i will survive, maybe not, I don’t know.
I don’t know what’s about to happen but alot of shits about to go down.

Emily Reynolds, I love you more than I love anything on this earth.
You have saved me so many times, so many times, I needed you.
This world is better off without me.

Goodbye.

just fucking do it.

Holes in walls,
posters on floors.
Dizzy.
confused.
headache.
trauma. 
Nail in my hand.
canvas ripped off walls.

I’m sick of waking up and finding my room like this, and knowing, but forgetting i’m the one who did this.

but i’m only thankful for Emily.
noone else.
nothing else.

confused and abused

I can’t help it.
My bodys on fire.

mutual emotions towards multiple people.
kill me.